Random Thoughts 24

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! or in my case merry new year. Lol. Hope that everyone has a good one. Stick to your goals this year. Don't worry about whateveryone else thinks of you just do what you do best.

~hearts~ me

Random Thoughts 23

Hey! As most of you know I should have been gone by now and I'm still here, but as I found out I might be leaving this coming Thursday, but it depends on a lot of stuff. I'm just waiting on my husband. He told me that he wants to come back home and get all of his stuff and then he wants me to go down with him. I'm getting really frustrated about all of it. I just wish that he could make up his mind about everything. I just wanna get outta my moms house and whatever. i love my mom to death and whatever but I seriously need to get out on my own. I can't wait until I can finally start living on my own. I figure that if I don't get outta here in the next couple of weeks then I'm just going to find a job and an apartment and get outta my moms house and not tell anyone where I'm going until my husband can decided on what he wants to do. But anyways.... I'm gunna go.

~hearts~ me

Random Thoughts 22

Hey! I saw this totally awesome movie last night. It's called Sleepers. It's a totally messed up movie but the end of it is so worth it. It's one of my top movies now. I think that everyone should see this movie. I can't explain what the movie is about but everyone has to see this movie. Unless you have a queezy stomach. Then I'd advise you not to watch it. I thought that it was a good movie though. But anyways... The best movie ever!!!!!!!!! I was sorry that I didn't see it before now. I have to thank a friend for that. So THANK YOU! Anyways.... Only one more week and I'm outta Hicksville, USA. I can't wait. But anyways.... Good mood not going to spoil it by posting my problems. Don't really see the point. Anyways...
"This isn't awkward at all."
"Then what do you call it?"
"blowing off steam!" ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Love you guys.

~hearts~ me

Random Thoughts 21

Hey! I'm just hanging out with friends. Having a good time. I haven't really slept yet. But oh well. I'm having a good time. I can't wait until this weekend. This might be my last blog for a while. But it depends on a lot of things. I know that I'm busy this weekend and it might be my last weekend home. But it depends on a lot of things. But anyways.... I so totally can't wait until this weekend. But any who... I hope that everyone had a good Christmas and I hope that no one gets too wasted on New Years. I know that I'm not going too... Have a great holiday everyone. I'll keep you posted on everything that is going on.

~hearts~ me

Random Thoughts 20

Hey! I'm just hangin out with everyone. I'm having fun. I can't wait until Saturday. Me and a couple of friends are going to the movies. We agreed on going to see I am Legend. I'm looking forward to it. But anyways... I probably missed the phone call from my husband tonight. Oh well. I'll just talk to him tomorrow. Not a whole lot to blog about tonight.


~hearts~ me

Random Thoughts 19

Hey! In my last blog I told everyone that I wasn't going to be posting for a while. Well I was wrong, I was suppose to go see my husband for the holidays and that didn't happen. So I got to spend christmas with my family. Which was good but I would have liked to spend it with my husband. Oh well. I'm leaving for North Carolina in about 2 weeks. Maybe even less than that. I still have a lot of packing to do. Yay! Not. Anyways.... speaking of packing I'm gunna go do that. Catch u later.

~hearts~ me

Random Thoughts 18

Hey! I know that I said that my last post was going to be the last one for a while but as somethings turned out I was wrong. I'm stuck in NY for another couple of weeks. Oh well. This way I get to spend my last Christmas at home with my family. Not all of my family but the ones that are really important to me. Most of my friends that went to college are home now. I'm having a blast with everyone. I'm glad that I didn't leave when I was suppose too only because I'm glad that I get to spend time with all of my friends. They are on a quest at the moment and it's a very weird one. I can tell you all that now. I think that it's kind of amusing. But anyways... I hope that everyone has a good holiday. I'm glad that I get to spend it with my family. I'm not too happy about not getting to spend the holidays with my husband. As a friend of mine said, shit happens when you party naked. Is that not the best saying that you've heard? I think that it's awesome and it's so true if you really think about it. anyways... good mood. g2g.

~hearts~ Me

Random Thoughts 17

Hey! This is going to be my last post for a while. I'm leaving and where I'm going I'm not going to have access to a computer. I've told almost everyone now. For those of you who haven't found out yet I'm really sorry that I didn't tell you. I don't really know what else to say. I thought that I was going to be spending christmas at home and I'm not going to be now. It really sucks. I hope that everyone has a great holiday. I know that part of my family is going to be devistated, but I can't really do anything about it. I know that I'm really depressed about it. I mean in a way I want to be with my husband but in another way I want to be with my family for the holidays. I'm going to miss all of my friends that are around. At least I'll get to say good bye to them before I leave. I think that this all sucks but I can't really do anything about it. I found out tonight that my husband is leaving for Iraq in September. Not a whole lot I can do about that either. I'm going to be on my own trying to make it on my own again. I know that I'll have the support of my family and friends but they won't be there. I'm going to have to try and keep in touch with everyone. Not a whole lot more to say. I'm gunna go.

me

Random Thoughts 16

As most of you can figure out I haven't written in a while. The reason that is, is because I got really sick. I had a sinus infection. I couldn't really move and I couldn't really do anything. It hurt just to move around. I'm feeling better now. I'm glad that I'm feeling better. I'm working on getting completely rid of this. I feel better enough to move around and get stuff done. I packed my room today. It's a lot of hard work but it's getting done. I was going to do it a while a go but I ended up getting sick and I couldn't really do anything like I said before.
I can't wait until the holidays. I miss all of my friends. Everyone of them is getting a christmas present from me. At least I think that I got everyone. I'll figure that out when christmas gets here. anyways... can't wait to see everyone.

~hearts~ me

Random Thoughts 15

Hey! Today was not a good day for me. As most of you have read my blog. You know whats going on. I'm having a better night. I just made this dessert thing and it's so good. I would recomend it to anyone. I have one person to thank for that. Thanks a bunch! I have a feeling though that it's going to make me fat, but it's so good. I ate part of it already. I was suppose to save it for Wed. but it's all good. I had to try it and make sure that my family would like it. I think they are going to get addicted to that stuff. It's called Banoffi Pie. It's so good. It takes a while to make but it's all worth it in the end. I can't wait to eat the rest of it. Like seriously.
Now I know why you love it so much(person that recomended it). I don't name names on here so if your reading this you know who you are. Again thanks a bunch.
Happy Holidays to everyone. Even if I don't like you right now. Only 10 more days and my husband will be home. I'm looking forward to it. I will finally get to spend the holidays with all of my family. For everyone reading this, don't expect a new blog written by me on thursday. I'm really busy that day. I won't have time to post a new blog. Just to let everyone know. Can't wait until the holidays. Can't wait to see all of my friends again. I'm going to have a blast with everyone. I love you all.

~hearts~ me

One Very PISSED Off Chick

Hey! Have you ever gotten an offline message from someone that really pissed u off? I just got 2 of them from my husbands dads girlfriend. Here is what they say: suzette frederick (12/7/2007 8:58:51 AM): why did u take me off jonnys emailin address so did u tell him u have a boyfrien in ohioX-(
panda14760 (12/10/2007 1:25:18 PM): u no i was just tellin u what i was told and i also jonny the same thng and ur the one whos pissed off at the world i tried nothin but ur friend and look at the way u treat me andn jon u shit on us. then turn around and keep jonny away from his own familyso as far as im concerned ur nothin but a hore in my book.
Which none of what she said is true. And if she feels that way about me fine. I don't really care but she needs to stay the hell out of my husband and I's business. I don't give a shit about his family anymore. I tried to be nice to them. Well I'm done with that. His whole family wants to cause problems between us. They think oh well they're really happy and I'm not so I'm going to screw up thier life. I don't fuckin think so. I'm done with all of this shit. I'm ready to go live with my husband and get outta here and not deal with that stupid fuckin bitch anymore. I'm done with it all. When my husband calls me again I'm telling him everything. I don't care anymore. He's gunna be pissed too. I'm just done with all the 4 year old shit. It needs to end. Like now. I'm done.

Random Thoughts 14

Hey! Today was really boring. I had to sit in a car for 5 hours. It sucked. But I guess thats what I get for saying that I will go with my mom to go get my brother. I got told that I wasn't allowed to smoke in my mothers car. So 2 and a half hours with no cig, i pretty much died. But I made it.
I talked to my husband today. I guess that people have been saying a lot of crap about me again. My husband called me friday night and told me everything that had been said. Go figure. I hate people at this point. Like seriously. I can't wait until I leave this place. No more drama. Hopefully. At least I won't have to deal with all of the drama thats been going on here. I guess that I can't ever leave my moms house without someone finding a way to tell everyone that I'm cheating on my husband. Whatever. My husband and I know the truth. I'm not cheating on him. I just think that it's bull shit that everyone has to stick their nose in our business. I'm getting really sick and tired of that too. Anyways... I'm gunna go.

~hearts~ me

Random Thoughts 13

Hey! As most of you know, my husband is coming home on the 20th of december. Although I found out today that he's not coming home until the 21st. Which totally sucks. But theres not a whole lot I can do about it. Anyways... I'm really looking forward to getting the holidays done and over with. Anyways... as most of you know, I'm planning on having a huge wedding in June and at this point i'm just about to say forget it. I don't even care anymore. I've been stressed out enough I don't need to add anything else to the stress about. I hope that everything gets better.
I don't really have anything to talk about so I'm gunna go.
~hearts~ me

Random Thoughts 12

Hey! I got a big suprose today. I had called my husband and left him a message on his phone and not even an hour later he called me. I wasn't expecting to hear from him until at least friday. He called me and told me that he wasn't suppose to be on his phone but he wanted to hear my voice before he went to sleep. Isn't that cute? As most of you know, I will be home for the holidays this year. I found out yesterday that I am leaving on one of my friends birthdays. I feel really bad about it but I can't do anything about it.
My husband had also informed me that we might have to find our own appartment to the place that were going. I'm not too thrilled about this. If we do have to find our own place it's going to be a nice place thats close to the beach, hopefully. I'm going to make sure that we can have pets in the house too. That is something that I really want. I have a cat and I want her to come with me to where I'm going.
I can't wait until the holidays are over. No more stress about the holidays. It will be where am I going to live? Not really a good sign. I will find out more when I talk to my husband again.
~hearts~ me

Random Thoughts 11

Hey! So I talked to my online friend again today. We have come to an agreement that me getting married was my choice and that they are happy for me. They do not want to lose me as a friend. I think that if they were looking for something more than just a friendship they would have tried something 7 years ago. They didn't try anything then, I don't think that they would try anything now. They give me their honest opinion on stuff and I appreciate it. I don't think that they would try anything stupid. I have a family who will protect me if they try to hurt me in anyway. They don't know where I live. I don't think that they will try and hurt me becasue I am married and they do respect that. There is a 6 year age difference between us. They may care about me but they have told me that the physical attraction isn't there. They also told me that they don't want to risk a friendship that has been built over a 7 year spand.
My husband will be home in 16 days. I'm going to tell him everything that has been going on. I don't want to tell him over the phone because it will just cause more problems between us. Not something I want for the holidays. So I figure if we talk when he gets home that we can just work it all out that way. I don't want anyone to be there when this conversation happens. I just want it to be me and my husband. Because we can not keep running to our parents over every little detail. We are growing up. It may not seem like it but we are. We are going to have to face some of the hard facts of life. But we will have each other to do it with. I know that I don't have to go about all of this alone but I would like too. Because I know sooner or later that I'm going to have to do it on my own anyways.
Thanks for the comments.
~hearts~ ME

Random Thoughts 10

Hey! To everyone that reads my blog. Yes I think that it's awsome that I'm going to be home for Christmas. Thank you for all of the comments that you have left. I told everyone that they were going to get a kick out of what I posted last. Some of you were like OMG! But then you got it, and it's hilarious.
Anyways, I got the best Christmas present that I could have asked for. I found out that one of my friends really does care about me. I know that my family cares a lot about me too. And I'm greatful for that. I really am. I think thats the best thing that you could ever get for christmas is knowing that someone really does care about you. I know that all of my other friends care about me but this is a different kind of feeling. I guess that I have a lot of thinking to do.
Anyways, I asked one of my friends if they thought that I was obsessed with one of my other friends. They told me no, that I was just trying to fill a void in my life. Maybe they're right. Maybe I just had a really bad judge of charater. Maybe I just have to figure out what I really want in life. I don't know. I know that I love my husband to death but I also know that I really care about my other friend(the one that told me that they do care about me). I know that I love my husband to death but sometimes I don't trust him. Is that a problem? I don't know. Maybe it is. I know that he'll be home in 17 days and whatever but sometimes I just can't believe anything that he says. I think that that's a really big problem too. Maybe it's not my husband that I don't trust. Maybe it's just his family. I don't know.
If anyone has any imput on this please feel free to leave a comment.

Random Thoughts 9

Hey! I finally got to talk to a friend of mine. It was like 3 days before I could talk to him again, but I finally caught him online. We had a long converstation about whats been going on. Then I sent him this survey thing that I had gotten sent to me, and he answered it all truthfully. I think that it's really amusing. But it's really sweet in a way. He's a really good guy and if I wasn't married I'm tellin ya, he would be the one that I had my heart set on. Oh speaking of being married my husband comes home again in 17 days. Then on Januaray 3rd, 2008 I finally get to go live with him. I'm very excited about it. I finally get to leave Hicksville, USA! Hopefully the place I go isn't another Hicksville, USA. I have something that I want to share with everyone. Leave a comment on what you think.

This is so hard for me. I really shouldn't be asking u. I feel shy but I want it so bad, don't get me wrong it's just that I haven't had it for a long time. I could already feel it going in so hard and coming out so soft and wet. No one has to know about this. I need it. I'm desperate and I would do anything right about now to get some. You must think I have a lot of nerve asking you this, but I can feel my tongue around it sucking all the juice out until there is no more left this has been on my mind all day long and I hope I’m not being forward. I'm usually not like this, but... Can I have some gum?

Just remember a friend of mine sent this too me. It wasn't my bright idea to come up with this. Hope you all enjoy it. ~hearts~ me

Random Thoughts 8

Hey! As one of my friends said to me today, no matter what you do control your life if you want a change in life you have to do it yourself. To tell everyone the truth, personally I think that is great advice. The only way that you are going to have change in your life is to do it yourself. Believe me, making some changes are really hard but sometimes you have to do it. Anyways... the holidays are coming. Hope everyone has a good Christmas. I know that I'm going to have a good Christmas this year. My husband is coming home for the holidays. I get to be with my family. I thought that I wasn't going to be. I acctually get to spend my last Christmas at home with all of my family. I'm excited about it. I can't wait until Christmas gets here. I'm going to have gifts for everyone. Including friends that I don't see very often. Have a happy holiday. Don't get too wasted for New Years!

Random Thoughts 7

Hey! As most of you know. I'm leaving in 19 days. It is now December 1, 2007. I can't believe how fast this year has gone by. First thing I know is that it's January 1, 2007 and now it's december. Anyways... I've been talkin to someone for a long time and they left me an offline message saying "sorry about the ciao Bella thing, I hadn’t even realized, sorry. Don’t worry about the blog thing, its cool it’s just not something I had expected and you took me a bit by surprise. Whatever happens stay the way you are, you’re a lovely girl and it’s a shame you don’t live a little closer" That makes me wonder about a lot of things. Like for instance about me getting married. I'm starting to think that I shouldn't have gotten married and followed my heart to the full extent. I don't know what to do now. Only because now I know how someone really feels about me even though he tells me all the time that he doesn't really care about me the same way. Anyways... I don't plan on changing anytime soon. I will always be me. If I do change a little bit hopefully it will be for the better. Too all of my friends, I will definatally keep in touch. ~hearts~ me