Friday, December 7, 2007

Random Thoughts 13

Hey! As most of you know, my husband is coming home on the 20th of december. Although I found out today that he's not coming home until the 21st. Which totally sucks. But theres not a whole lot I can do about it. Anyways... I'm really looking forward to getting the holidays done and over with. Anyways... as most of you know, I'm planning on having a huge wedding in June and at this point i'm just about to say forget it. I don't even care anymore. I've been stressed out enough I don't need to add anything else to the stress about. I hope that everything gets better.
I don't really have anything to talk about so I'm gunna go.
~hearts~ me

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Random Thoughts 12

Hey! I got a big suprose today. I had called my husband and left him a message on his phone and not even an hour later he called me. I wasn't expecting to hear from him until at least friday. He called me and told me that he wasn't suppose to be on his phone but he wanted to hear my voice before he went to sleep. Isn't that cute? As most of you know, I will be home for the holidays this year. I found out yesterday that I am leaving on one of my friends birthdays. I feel really bad about it but I can't do anything about it.
My husband had also informed me that we might have to find our own appartment to the place that were going. I'm not too thrilled about this. If we do have to find our own place it's going to be a nice place thats close to the beach, hopefully. I'm going to make sure that we can have pets in the house too. That is something that I really want. I have a cat and I want her to come with me to where I'm going.
I can't wait until the holidays are over. No more stress about the holidays. It will be where am I going to live? Not really a good sign. I will find out more when I talk to my husband again.
~hearts~ me

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Random Thoughts 11

Hey! So I talked to my online friend again today. We have come to an agreement that me getting married was my choice and that they are happy for me. They do not want to lose me as a friend. I think that if they were looking for something more than just a friendship they would have tried something 7 years ago. They didn't try anything then, I don't think that they would try anything now. They give me their honest opinion on stuff and I appreciate it. I don't think that they would try anything stupid. I have a family who will protect me if they try to hurt me in anyway. They don't know where I live. I don't think that they will try and hurt me becasue I am married and they do respect that. There is a 6 year age difference between us. They may care about me but they have told me that the physical attraction isn't there. They also told me that they don't want to risk a friendship that has been built over a 7 year spand.
My husband will be home in 16 days. I'm going to tell him everything that has been going on. I don't want to tell him over the phone because it will just cause more problems between us. Not something I want for the holidays. So I figure if we talk when he gets home that we can just work it all out that way. I don't want anyone to be there when this conversation happens. I just want it to be me and my husband. Because we can not keep running to our parents over every little detail. We are growing up. It may not seem like it but we are. We are going to have to face some of the hard facts of life. But we will have each other to do it with. I know that I don't have to go about all of this alone but I would like too. Because I know sooner or later that I'm going to have to do it on my own anyways.
Thanks for the comments.
~hearts~ ME

Monday, December 3, 2007

Random Thoughts 10

Hey! To everyone that reads my blog. Yes I think that it's awsome that I'm going to be home for Christmas. Thank you for all of the comments that you have left. I told everyone that they were going to get a kick out of what I posted last. Some of you were like OMG! But then you got it, and it's hilarious.
Anyways, I got the best Christmas present that I could have asked for. I found out that one of my friends really does care about me. I know that my family cares a lot about me too. And I'm greatful for that. I really am. I think thats the best thing that you could ever get for christmas is knowing that someone really does care about you. I know that all of my other friends care about me but this is a different kind of feeling. I guess that I have a lot of thinking to do.
Anyways, I asked one of my friends if they thought that I was obsessed with one of my other friends. They told me no, that I was just trying to fill a void in my life. Maybe they're right. Maybe I just had a really bad judge of charater. Maybe I just have to figure out what I really want in life. I don't know. I know that I love my husband to death but I also know that I really care about my other friend(the one that told me that they do care about me). I know that I love my husband to death but sometimes I don't trust him. Is that a problem? I don't know. Maybe it is. I know that he'll be home in 17 days and whatever but sometimes I just can't believe anything that he says. I think that that's a really big problem too. Maybe it's not my husband that I don't trust. Maybe it's just his family. I don't know.
If anyone has any imput on this please feel free to leave a comment.

Random Thoughts 9

Hey! I finally got to talk to a friend of mine. It was like 3 days before I could talk to him again, but I finally caught him online. We had a long converstation about whats been going on. Then I sent him this survey thing that I had gotten sent to me, and he answered it all truthfully. I think that it's really amusing. But it's really sweet in a way. He's a really good guy and if I wasn't married I'm tellin ya, he would be the one that I had my heart set on. Oh speaking of being married my husband comes home again in 17 days. Then on Januaray 3rd, 2008 I finally get to go live with him. I'm very excited about it. I finally get to leave Hicksville, USA! Hopefully the place I go isn't another Hicksville, USA. I have something that I want to share with everyone. Leave a comment on what you think.

This is so hard for me. I really shouldn't be asking u. I feel shy but I want it so bad, don't get me wrong it's just that I haven't had it for a long time. I could already feel it going in so hard and coming out so soft and wet. No one has to know about this. I need it. I'm desperate and I would do anything right about now to get some. You must think I have a lot of nerve asking you this, but I can feel my tongue around it sucking all the juice out until there is no more left this has been on my mind all day long and I hope I’m not being forward. I'm usually not like this, but... Can I have some gum?

Just remember a friend of mine sent this too me. It wasn't my bright idea to come up with this. Hope you all enjoy it. ~hearts~ me

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Random Thoughts 8

Hey! As one of my friends said to me today, no matter what you do control your life if you want a change in life you have to do it yourself. To tell everyone the truth, personally I think that is great advice. The only way that you are going to have change in your life is to do it yourself. Believe me, making some changes are really hard but sometimes you have to do it. Anyways... the holidays are coming. Hope everyone has a good Christmas. I know that I'm going to have a good Christmas this year. My husband is coming home for the holidays. I get to be with my family. I thought that I wasn't going to be. I acctually get to spend my last Christmas at home with all of my family. I'm excited about it. I can't wait until Christmas gets here. I'm going to have gifts for everyone. Including friends that I don't see very often. Have a happy holiday. Don't get too wasted for New Years!

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Random Thoughts 7

Hey! As most of you know. I'm leaving in 19 days. It is now December 1, 2007. I can't believe how fast this year has gone by. First thing I know is that it's January 1, 2007 and now it's december. Anyways... I've been talkin to someone for a long time and they left me an offline message saying "sorry about the ciao Bella thing, I hadn’t even realized, sorry. Don’t worry about the blog thing, its cool it’s just not something I had expected and you took me a bit by surprise. Whatever happens stay the way you are, you’re a lovely girl and it’s a shame you don’t live a little closer" That makes me wonder about a lot of things. Like for instance about me getting married. I'm starting to think that I shouldn't have gotten married and followed my heart to the full extent. I don't know what to do now. Only because now I know how someone really feels about me even though he tells me all the time that he doesn't really care about me the same way. Anyways... I don't plan on changing anytime soon. I will always be me. If I do change a little bit hopefully it will be for the better. Too all of my friends, I will definatally keep in touch. ~hearts~ me