Hey! As a couple of you knew my husband was coming into town this weekend. I spent a little bit of time with him. We had a good time. As all of you know I have been working on my story for like ever... well only a couple of months but still, I finally finsihed it. I'll post the rest of it when I get a chance too. Probably in my next blog. I'm thinking about writing a sequal to my story, but I think that I'm going to post it first and see if I can get comments on it. Let me know if I should write a sequal or not. I want to make my story into a book but I don't know how to get it published and I don't know if I could keep up the writting. Everyone knows that I want to go to college to become a laywer, but I'm still working on finding a college to go to and to see where I'm going to be living. My husband is leaving next week to go to virgina and will be gone for a month. I don't know if I will hear from him or not. I guess I'll find out. I leave tomorrow for Ohio for at least a week. I haven't talked to a friend of mine to see if I could stay there for two weeks yet. I guess I'll find out when she gets to my moms house or something. Not a whole lot has happened. I'm spending time with my in-laws. I know. I told everyone that I couldn't stand my in-laws and whatever but they apologized to me and I apologized to them. So we're all good now. I don't have to worry about all the fighting anymore. I'm basically the one that keeps my husbands family and my family together or at least I try too. I don't know how well it's working. Probably not very well. Oh well. I guess I'm going to go.
~hearts~ me
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Friday, February 15, 2008
Random Thoughts 40
Hey! I know I haven't posted anything in a while. I just got really caught up in a lot of things. I haven't really worked on my story a whole lot. I'm stuck on it. As soon as I can finish part 5 though I'll let everyone know and then you can read it.
I started a book like three days ago and now I'm hooked on the books. I know thats sad. I'm hooked on guitar hero first now I'm hooked on a book. Can my life be anymore boring? I guess not, since I haven't really written anything on here lately. My husband is back in town now. I don't know if I'll see him or not. We got into a really big fight today. Oh well. If he wants to see me then he'll come around if not, then it wasn't ment to be. Thats just how I'm looking at life right now. Like a friend of mine says "shit happens when you party naked." I basically live by that now. I think that I'm going to go so I'm not just ranting the whole time.
~hearts~ me
I started a book like three days ago and now I'm hooked on the books. I know thats sad. I'm hooked on guitar hero first now I'm hooked on a book. Can my life be anymore boring? I guess not, since I haven't really written anything on here lately. My husband is back in town now. I don't know if I'll see him or not. We got into a really big fight today. Oh well. If he wants to see me then he'll come around if not, then it wasn't ment to be. Thats just how I'm looking at life right now. Like a friend of mine says "shit happens when you party naked." I basically live by that now. I think that I'm going to go so I'm not just ranting the whole time.
~hearts~ me
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Random Thoughts 39
Hey! It's me again. I finished part four of my story. I'm glad that some people have read all of it so far. I've been told to keep writing, and I am. I may not work on my story for a couple of days only because I'm getting writers block. I hate it when that happeneds. I should be completely done with my story by next month maybe not though. It depends on a lot of things. I totally forgot how short of a month febuaray was when I set my deadline. I want to finish my story by march but at this point in time I don't think thats going to happen. It might though. But anyways... heres part 4 of my story. Enjoy.
After everything that happened, Benji went off to college and didn’t worry about anything. He didn’t tell anyone about what he did to Alexis. He couldn’t imagine what his parents would have thought about him. Benji knew that they were mad about what Ethan had done. He didn’t know if they would be even madder about what he had done. He didn’t even know what they were thinking at that point. He didn’t want to leave home without knowing but he had to get to college and get moved in before classes started. Benji was excited about going to college. This ment new people, new classes, and a new place to live. Benji and Ethan had a plan to go to the same college but because of everything that happened Benji didn’t know if Ethan was going to go to the same college. Ethan got accepted to a couple of different colleges. Ethan didn’t know what college he was going too.
Benji couldn’t wait to get to his first class. Benji couldn’t wait to get around and do the work that he knew he had to do. He was excited about getting swamped with home work. That way he wouldn’t have to deal with anything. He wouldn’t have to think about everything that happened with Alexis and Ethan and how he killed Alexis. He didn’t really want to think about how he had killed Alexis. It still made him sick to his stomach. Benji wasn’t sure why he had ate Alexis’s body, but he did know that he had to hide the evidence. He did that very well because the police still didn’t know what happened to Alexis. They figured that she was kidnapped and who ever did it took her out of town and killed her. The police knew where there jurisdiction was and they figured that the killer knew too. So they couldn’t do anything about it. Alexis’s parents were really upset afterwards. Benji really didn’t want to think about it but that was all he could do. He still couldn’t believe he was the one that did it and that he actually got away with it.
As Benji was unpacking his stuff, he found something that Alexis had given him when they were together. It said “I will love you forever and always.” Benji decided to throw that away. He should have known that it was a lie. He should have known that his dream was going to be true. He really didn’t want to believe that his dream was real. He should have known not to trust Alexis. Benji knew that Alexis had a crush on Ethan but didn’t want to admit it. Benji saw that Alexis had a crush on Ethan since they were little. Benji thought that as they got older that the crush would go away. Benji was wrong. He had to admit though that he was jealous of Ethan. Benji always wanted Alexis to look at him like she looked at Ethan.
Benji concentrated on getting the rest of his stuff unpacked, instead of the past. Benji knew that he had to concentrate on the future. He figured that his mother got away with killing people for a long time and figured that he only killed one person. He didn’t know how his mother dealt with the pain of killing people or how she got over that she killed the one person that she loved. It wasn’t like he could ask her, she was dead. “Speaking of that” Benji thought to himself, “I should find out where she’s buried at and go see her grave and see if anyone has left anything for her.”
He figured that no one would have left anything. He knew that his birth mother, Jenny, killed off all of her friends. Benji really didn’t want to turn into his birth mother. But with the way he was thinking and what he was doing he was well on his way to becoming like his birth mother. Benji was afraid of everything. He really didn’t want to let people into his life, because if he did he was afraid of what would happen to everyone that he let get close to him. So he just had a few people that he talked too. Benji didn’t really hang out with anyone.
Benji was swapped with homework but he knew that he had to call his mom. He didn’t know if he could get everything done. He had a five page paper to write and he had three other projects to do by the next day. He knew that he shouldn’t have slacked off like he did but he couldn’t manage to get any sleep at night. Ever since he got to the dorm, he could only think about what had happened between Ethan and Alexis and what he had done to Alexis. Well Benji while still dwelling on Alexis’s demise and him needing to call his mom he decides to lay down on his bed and think on what to say to his mom and thinking on what he had done to Alexis and thinking why, while knowing yet still wondering why. Benji decided to call his mom and tell her about his grades and homework. His mom while disappointed talks about something else trying not to get angry or yell she said to him Benji try doing your work you wouldn’t believe what would happen well after Benji talked to his mom he went for a walk to ponder on what has and is happening to him and others around him especially Alexis, he still could not believe what he did to her then he began to think about his mother and how he is turning into what he hates so much. He decided to sit down on a bench that he walked by and with it being fall not freezing but small cold chills of wind. Benji closed his eyes for a few seconds catching himself trying not to fall asleep so he gets up and heads back to his dorm and of all people he runs in to Ethan and instead of spear tackling him to the ground and tearing him apart ligament by ligament Benji decided to just say “hi” and ask how things are going hoping that Ethan dose not bring up Alexis and make him act weird to make suspicions, thankfully he didn’t and left soon after his answer and I made it back to my dorm and went to bed with terrible dreams of him and his ex-girlfriends torn, body parts being puked out of his stomach. The next morning wondering how he stayed asleep through the horrific memory, with the thought of him morning the death and murder of Alexis.
Benji didn’t know what to do about the memory. He didn’t really want to talk to his mom about the memory. Benji just went to class and ignored everything that had happened. He just did his homework and didn’t think about what was going on. While he was working on his homework someone came and knocked on the door. Benji didn’t really want to answer it but he figured that it might be someone important. Benji got up to answer the door. To his surprise it was Ethan. Benji wondered why Ethan was there.
Benji asked Ethan what he was doing there. Ethan told Benji that his mom called him and asked him to check up on him. Benji didn’t think that he needed to be checked up on but Benji welcomed the company. While Benji and Ethan were talking about everything Benji was plotting to kill Ethan.
~hearts~ me
After everything that happened, Benji went off to college and didn’t worry about anything. He didn’t tell anyone about what he did to Alexis. He couldn’t imagine what his parents would have thought about him. Benji knew that they were mad about what Ethan had done. He didn’t know if they would be even madder about what he had done. He didn’t even know what they were thinking at that point. He didn’t want to leave home without knowing but he had to get to college and get moved in before classes started. Benji was excited about going to college. This ment new people, new classes, and a new place to live. Benji and Ethan had a plan to go to the same college but because of everything that happened Benji didn’t know if Ethan was going to go to the same college. Ethan got accepted to a couple of different colleges. Ethan didn’t know what college he was going too.
Benji couldn’t wait to get to his first class. Benji couldn’t wait to get around and do the work that he knew he had to do. He was excited about getting swamped with home work. That way he wouldn’t have to deal with anything. He wouldn’t have to think about everything that happened with Alexis and Ethan and how he killed Alexis. He didn’t really want to think about how he had killed Alexis. It still made him sick to his stomach. Benji wasn’t sure why he had ate Alexis’s body, but he did know that he had to hide the evidence. He did that very well because the police still didn’t know what happened to Alexis. They figured that she was kidnapped and who ever did it took her out of town and killed her. The police knew where there jurisdiction was and they figured that the killer knew too. So they couldn’t do anything about it. Alexis’s parents were really upset afterwards. Benji really didn’t want to think about it but that was all he could do. He still couldn’t believe he was the one that did it and that he actually got away with it.
As Benji was unpacking his stuff, he found something that Alexis had given him when they were together. It said “I will love you forever and always.” Benji decided to throw that away. He should have known that it was a lie. He should have known that his dream was going to be true. He really didn’t want to believe that his dream was real. He should have known not to trust Alexis. Benji knew that Alexis had a crush on Ethan but didn’t want to admit it. Benji saw that Alexis had a crush on Ethan since they were little. Benji thought that as they got older that the crush would go away. Benji was wrong. He had to admit though that he was jealous of Ethan. Benji always wanted Alexis to look at him like she looked at Ethan.
Benji concentrated on getting the rest of his stuff unpacked, instead of the past. Benji knew that he had to concentrate on the future. He figured that his mother got away with killing people for a long time and figured that he only killed one person. He didn’t know how his mother dealt with the pain of killing people or how she got over that she killed the one person that she loved. It wasn’t like he could ask her, she was dead. “Speaking of that” Benji thought to himself, “I should find out where she’s buried at and go see her grave and see if anyone has left anything for her.”
He figured that no one would have left anything. He knew that his birth mother, Jenny, killed off all of her friends. Benji really didn’t want to turn into his birth mother. But with the way he was thinking and what he was doing he was well on his way to becoming like his birth mother. Benji was afraid of everything. He really didn’t want to let people into his life, because if he did he was afraid of what would happen to everyone that he let get close to him. So he just had a few people that he talked too. Benji didn’t really hang out with anyone.
Benji was swapped with homework but he knew that he had to call his mom. He didn’t know if he could get everything done. He had a five page paper to write and he had three other projects to do by the next day. He knew that he shouldn’t have slacked off like he did but he couldn’t manage to get any sleep at night. Ever since he got to the dorm, he could only think about what had happened between Ethan and Alexis and what he had done to Alexis. Well Benji while still dwelling on Alexis’s demise and him needing to call his mom he decides to lay down on his bed and think on what to say to his mom and thinking on what he had done to Alexis and thinking why, while knowing yet still wondering why. Benji decided to call his mom and tell her about his grades and homework. His mom while disappointed talks about something else trying not to get angry or yell she said to him Benji try doing your work you wouldn’t believe what would happen well after Benji talked to his mom he went for a walk to ponder on what has and is happening to him and others around him especially Alexis, he still could not believe what he did to her then he began to think about his mother and how he is turning into what he hates so much. He decided to sit down on a bench that he walked by and with it being fall not freezing but small cold chills of wind. Benji closed his eyes for a few seconds catching himself trying not to fall asleep so he gets up and heads back to his dorm and of all people he runs in to Ethan and instead of spear tackling him to the ground and tearing him apart ligament by ligament Benji decided to just say “hi” and ask how things are going hoping that Ethan dose not bring up Alexis and make him act weird to make suspicions, thankfully he didn’t and left soon after his answer and I made it back to my dorm and went to bed with terrible dreams of him and his ex-girlfriends torn, body parts being puked out of his stomach. The next morning wondering how he stayed asleep through the horrific memory, with the thought of him morning the death and murder of Alexis.
Benji didn’t know what to do about the memory. He didn’t really want to talk to his mom about the memory. Benji just went to class and ignored everything that had happened. He just did his homework and didn’t think about what was going on. While he was working on his homework someone came and knocked on the door. Benji didn’t really want to answer it but he figured that it might be someone important. Benji got up to answer the door. To his surprise it was Ethan. Benji wondered why Ethan was there.
Benji asked Ethan what he was doing there. Ethan told Benji that his mom called him and asked him to check up on him. Benji didn’t think that he needed to be checked up on but Benji welcomed the company. While Benji and Ethan were talking about everything Benji was plotting to kill Ethan.
~hearts~ me
Friday, February 8, 2008
Part 3
After a while Benji finally realized that he had to move on with his life. He finally realized that he needed to find a girlfriend. So he did that. He knew that he had liked someone for a while from school but he didn’t know how to talk to her. Her name was Alexis. He had been friends with her for a while. Then Benji finally realized that he liked Alexis. He didn’t know how to act around her anymore. He tried to act normal but it didn’t work out too well. Alexis knew that Benji was acting weird. Every time that she tried to ask him what was up he ran from her. She wasn’t sure what was going on.
Benji went home and told his adopted parents what was happening with him and how he couldn’t talk to Alexis anymore. They thought that it was cute that he had gotten a crush on her. Benji never thought that he of all people would get a crush on his best friend. He didn’t know what to think of this. So he asked him mom and dad what he should do. They told Benji that he should ask Alexis out.
The next day at school Benji walked up to Alexis and told her that he was sorry for the way he was acting around her. Alexis asked why he had been acting like that. Benji told her the truth. He told her that he really liked her. Alexis told him that she felt the same way. Benji asked her out Alexis said yes. Benji took Alexis to the movies. She was excited to go. Benji couldn’t wait to pick her up. Alexis didn’t know what she should wear. She knew that it was a date but it was with her best friend. She didn’t know if she should get dressed up or if she should just dress the same way she always did. She called her best gal pal and asked her. Her gal pal told her that she should get dressed up a little bit. So Alexis did.
When Benji showed up to get Alexis, he didn’t know what to think about her getting dressed up. Benji didn’t know if he like Alexis’s new look or not. He just dealt with it though. He wasn’t sure if she was going to change completely. He hoped that she wasn’t going to. He told himself that if she really did change that he wouldn’t go out with her anymore. Only because he liked her the way she was.
The next day at school, Alexis asked Benji what he thought of her outfit from the night before. He told her that he didn’t really like it. Benji was glad that she was in her normal clothes again. Alexis asked Benji what he thought of what she was wearing that day. He said that it was more her than the out fit she was wearing the other night. She agreed with Benji.
Benji and Alexis went out again. Alexis dressed in her normal clothes. Benji approved of that. He really liked her outfit and everything. They went to the movies and afterwards Benji and Alexis went back to Benji’s house. His parents weren’t home. So they stayed in his room. Benji and Alexis fell a sleep. Benji had a dream about killing off Alexis because he found out that she was cheating on him with one of his best friends. He woke up in a cold sweat from it. He didn’t know what to think about it. Alexis felt Benji jump and woke up and asked him what was up. He told her it was just a bad dream.
The next day in school Benji watched Alexis. He didn’t know if the dream was true or not. So he watched her for a the next couple of weeks. Benji didn’t notice anything different about her. So he just figured that the dream wasn’t true. Him and Alexis stayed together. But secretly he watched her every move.
After a while Alexis started to notice that Benji was watching her every move. One night when they were hanging out Alexis asked Benji why he was watching her every move. He told her it was because he had a dream and didn’t know what to think of it. So he flat out asked her if she was cheating on him. She told him no. He said okay and that he would lay off of watching her every move.
After a while, Benji started to trust Alexis again. He did what he told her he was going to do.
A couple of weeks later, Alexis and Benji stopped hanging out as much as they use too. Benji didn’t think anything of it. He knew that Alexis was going to go out for the cheerleading squad and knew that she had practice all the time and by the time she was out of practice that she was going to be really tired. He knew that she wasn’t going to want to do anything. One night Benji decided to call Alexis but her mom said that she wasn’t home. He wondered where she was.
Benji figured out that his dream was true. He got really pissed off and went to go look for Alexis. He found her and asked her what she was doing. She told him that she was just hanging out with some friends from the squad. He said okay and asked her if he could stay and hang out too. Alexis said sure. She was glad that she was hanging out with friends from the squad that night.
A day later Benji figured out that Alexis really was cheating on him with his best friend. He had come home from a long day of work. Working just so that bitch can survive and he walked in on her and his best friend in his bed.
“Benji! You are home early” Alexis had shrieked. That night I broke the bathroom mirror and slit her throat while she was in the shower. Stupid fuckin bitch.
Then Benji panicked. He just killed his girlfriend, the love of his life. The body. What to do with the body? He ran out to the wood stove room and grabbed the wood chopping axe. Back in the bathroom, he viciously attacked the dead body with the axe until her organs and tissues were in little bites. Benji brutally ate the pieces until all that was left in the bath tub was blood stains. He turned the shower on and took the spray hose to wash down the walls to the shower. He looked around the bathroom and saw all of the blood spray. Shit, he thought. He sprayed the hose at the wall, soaking the bathroom. Then thoughts rushed through his head. How could he have really done that. Memories and flash backs crossed his mind. Alexis, his beautiful girlfriend and best friend was dead and he was to blame. Suddenly he felt a pain of remorse and his stomach lurched. He threw himself against the floor and vomited repeatedly into the toilet.
His life had just changed so quickly and there was nothing he could do now. He couldn’t bring Alexis back, she was in his toilet. Benji pulled a bunch of bath towels out of the cupboard closet and rubbed the walls and bathroom floors down.
“Benji” his adopted mother called. His mind raced on what to say as he heard her foot steps getting closer to the bathroom door. “Are you in there?” she asked. He told her yes and she opened the bathroom door. “What did you spill on the carpet?” Benji looked over frantically and saw that the blood had seeped out into the hallway onto his mother’s white carpet.
“I was just trying to clean that up. I was in a hurry to answer the phone and I dropped my glass of red kool-aide. I’m really sorry” Benji lied.
“Oh, I see. don’t worry about it, I got some new carpet cleaner that can get the stain out.” she looked behind him into the bathroom. “Are you sick? Is that vomit?” Benji desperately ran over and threw the seat down and flushed the toilet. “Benji, you’re sweating bullets, what’s wrong?” she asked again.
“Must have eaten something bad at work” Benji said “They passed out these ravioli’s for the workers who forgot their lunches. I was in a hurry this morning with Alexis here” Benji continued to lie.
“Oh, should I make you a Dr.’s appointment?” she asked in a motherly tone.
“No, its probably just an over night stomach bug. I’ll be fine” Benji said.
“Ok. Well I’ll go get that carpet cleaner” she said “And who called?”
“What?” Benji asked.
“You said that you were running to get the phone when you dropped the drink” she said
“Oh yeah. It was aunt Jane. She wanted to know when my birthday was.” Benji said and he wiped the sweat rolling off of his fore head with the sleeve of his shirt.
“Oh, ok. Well let me get that carpet cleaner for you” she said and went out to the kitchen. Benji slowly and cautiously walked over to the toilet and lifted the lid. There in the bowl, was one of Alexis’s blue eyeballs. Benji gasped and slammed the lid down and flushed it again. This had become a living hell.
“Here you are, dear” his mother said and she handed him the bottle of Mr. Clean. Benji took it and walked over to the carpet stain.
“Just use a wet washcloth and scrub at it with the carpet cleaner.” she said.
“Ok” Benji said and he gently poured some of the white powdery stuff on the stain. Then he used one of the wet towels and scrubbed the stain.
When you could no longer see the red mess, Benji threw all of the towels in the dirty laundry hamper and went into his room.
The burden of what he had committed carried on his shoulders for what seemed like an eternity in those few short hours in his room.
“Benji, Alexis’s parents just called. She never came home, have you seen her?” his adopted mother asked, outside his bedroom door.
“No, I haven’t seen her since I left for work this morning. Maybe she went to Ethan’s house” Benji said. Ethan was his old best friends name, before he had fucked his girlfriend on Benji’s bed. As Benji thought more about it, he got even more pissed off and the remorse slowly disappeared.
“Ok. I’ll tell her parents to check there.” his mother said and he heard her foot steps leave the bedroom door. Benji sat up in his bed and started to think up a plan on how to get his revenge on Ethan and pin the murder on him. He shouldn’t have got rid of the body, Benji bet with himself that Alexis had Ethan’s seamen was in Alexis, she was allergic to latex, so she was on birth control. Alexis and Benji had never used condoms when they had intercourse.
“Benji, the phone is for you” his mother said from outside of his bedroom door.
“Ok” Benji said and stood up. He opened the phone and she handed him the phone. “Hello?” he asked into the phone.
“Benji. I’m really sorry about what happened. Alexis’s parents just called here, they cant find her” Ethan said.
“Yea, they called here too. Are you still mad at me Benji?”
“Yea I’m still mad at you. You fucked my girlfriend, and now no one knows where she’s at. Maybe she killed herself. That would have been her best choice. I think personally.”
“Don’t say that. You know that you loved her and now you act like you don’t care at all.”
“Maybe I don’t care anymore. Maybe it was her fault that she fucked up. Actually it was her fault.”
“That’s really cold man.”
“I don’t feel like talking to you anymore. Goodbye.” Benji hung up the phone. Ethan thought that it was rude of Benji to just hang up on him. Ethan understood why Benji was mad at him though. Ethan would be mad too if Benji had done that too him.
Benji was still really pissed off at Ethan for everything that he did. Benji thought that maybe he could pin Alexis’s murder on him. He would just tell the police everything that he did to Alexis and blame it on Ethan. Benji thought this through. He figured out that it wouldn’t work and that he would end up in jail. Benji figured that he would crack under all of the pressure. He would be the one to stand up in court and tell everyone that he was the one that did killed Alexis and ate her then puked it back up in the toilet and flushed the body down into the sewers. He decided not to go to the police. He knew that the police were investigating Alexis’s disappearance. Benji was afraid that if the police started asking him questions that he would just spill everything to them. About how Alexis cheated on him and how it was with his best friend and how he killed her then ate her body and puked it all back up and flushed it down the toilet. After a while the police told Alexis’s parents that they couldn’t recover the body and they didn’t know where to start looking. Alexis’s parents told the police the last place they knew where she was, was at her boyfriends house. (Which was Benji’s house.)
The police asked Benji if he had heard from Alexis in the last couple of weeks. Benji told them no, that he hadn’t heard from her since he went to work the morning before she disappeared. The police checked out his story and it checked out.
Benji was lad that the police stopped questioning him about Alexis’s disappearance. The police started to question Ethan. Ethan told the police that he hadn’t seen Alexis for a couple of days.
After the police questioned Ethan, Benji decided to get his revenge on Ethan for sleeping with Alexis. Benji wanted to kill Ethan but with the police still looking out for who ever killed Alexis he didn’t want to risk anything.
Benji started thinking about what his parents looked like and what Ethan looked like. For some odd reason they looked the same. Benji didn’t know why he thought of this all of a sudden, Benji thought that it was weird.
While Benji was thinking about this his mother wanted to talk to him about something. While she waited for Benji to come downstairs, she knew that she should have told Benji about the child they gave up for adoption a long time a go. Benji finally walked downstairs and asked his mom what was up. She told him everything about the child that she had given up for adoption. She told him that the child they had given up was Ethan. Benji didn’t know what to think of this. He had all of these plans to kill Ethan and now his mom told him that he had a brother and that it was his best friend, that slept with his girlfriend. Benji was pissed that his parents had told him that. He didn’t know what to do now. He wanted to kill Ethan but it was his brother and now his parents knew that it was his brother all along, Benji didn’t want to kill him now.
A couple of months later everyone figured that Alexis was dead so they stopped looking for her. Benji was off the hook. He still remembered that Ethan was his brother. He wanted to kill him off so bad but couldn’t because it was his parents child. Benji was still really pissed. He went and told his parents about what Ethan had done. His parents weren’t too happy about it. They didn’t think that he would have grown up to be like that but they were wrong. Benji didn’t know what his parents thought about it. He knew that they were pissed but that was it. He wanted to know what they thought. Maybe they didn’t know what to think except for the fact that their son they had together and gave up for adoption turned out to be one of the kids that no one could trust.
Benji went home and told his adopted parents what was happening with him and how he couldn’t talk to Alexis anymore. They thought that it was cute that he had gotten a crush on her. Benji never thought that he of all people would get a crush on his best friend. He didn’t know what to think of this. So he asked him mom and dad what he should do. They told Benji that he should ask Alexis out.
The next day at school Benji walked up to Alexis and told her that he was sorry for the way he was acting around her. Alexis asked why he had been acting like that. Benji told her the truth. He told her that he really liked her. Alexis told him that she felt the same way. Benji asked her out Alexis said yes. Benji took Alexis to the movies. She was excited to go. Benji couldn’t wait to pick her up. Alexis didn’t know what she should wear. She knew that it was a date but it was with her best friend. She didn’t know if she should get dressed up or if she should just dress the same way she always did. She called her best gal pal and asked her. Her gal pal told her that she should get dressed up a little bit. So Alexis did.
When Benji showed up to get Alexis, he didn’t know what to think about her getting dressed up. Benji didn’t know if he like Alexis’s new look or not. He just dealt with it though. He wasn’t sure if she was going to change completely. He hoped that she wasn’t going to. He told himself that if she really did change that he wouldn’t go out with her anymore. Only because he liked her the way she was.
The next day at school, Alexis asked Benji what he thought of her outfit from the night before. He told her that he didn’t really like it. Benji was glad that she was in her normal clothes again. Alexis asked Benji what he thought of what she was wearing that day. He said that it was more her than the out fit she was wearing the other night. She agreed with Benji.
Benji and Alexis went out again. Alexis dressed in her normal clothes. Benji approved of that. He really liked her outfit and everything. They went to the movies and afterwards Benji and Alexis went back to Benji’s house. His parents weren’t home. So they stayed in his room. Benji and Alexis fell a sleep. Benji had a dream about killing off Alexis because he found out that she was cheating on him with one of his best friends. He woke up in a cold sweat from it. He didn’t know what to think about it. Alexis felt Benji jump and woke up and asked him what was up. He told her it was just a bad dream.
The next day in school Benji watched Alexis. He didn’t know if the dream was true or not. So he watched her for a the next couple of weeks. Benji didn’t notice anything different about her. So he just figured that the dream wasn’t true. Him and Alexis stayed together. But secretly he watched her every move.
After a while Alexis started to notice that Benji was watching her every move. One night when they were hanging out Alexis asked Benji why he was watching her every move. He told her it was because he had a dream and didn’t know what to think of it. So he flat out asked her if she was cheating on him. She told him no. He said okay and that he would lay off of watching her every move.
After a while, Benji started to trust Alexis again. He did what he told her he was going to do.
A couple of weeks later, Alexis and Benji stopped hanging out as much as they use too. Benji didn’t think anything of it. He knew that Alexis was going to go out for the cheerleading squad and knew that she had practice all the time and by the time she was out of practice that she was going to be really tired. He knew that she wasn’t going to want to do anything. One night Benji decided to call Alexis but her mom said that she wasn’t home. He wondered where she was.
Benji figured out that his dream was true. He got really pissed off and went to go look for Alexis. He found her and asked her what she was doing. She told him that she was just hanging out with some friends from the squad. He said okay and asked her if he could stay and hang out too. Alexis said sure. She was glad that she was hanging out with friends from the squad that night.
A day later Benji figured out that Alexis really was cheating on him with his best friend. He had come home from a long day of work. Working just so that bitch can survive and he walked in on her and his best friend in his bed.
“Benji! You are home early” Alexis had shrieked. That night I broke the bathroom mirror and slit her throat while she was in the shower. Stupid fuckin bitch.
Then Benji panicked. He just killed his girlfriend, the love of his life. The body. What to do with the body? He ran out to the wood stove room and grabbed the wood chopping axe. Back in the bathroom, he viciously attacked the dead body with the axe until her organs and tissues were in little bites. Benji brutally ate the pieces until all that was left in the bath tub was blood stains. He turned the shower on and took the spray hose to wash down the walls to the shower. He looked around the bathroom and saw all of the blood spray. Shit, he thought. He sprayed the hose at the wall, soaking the bathroom. Then thoughts rushed through his head. How could he have really done that. Memories and flash backs crossed his mind. Alexis, his beautiful girlfriend and best friend was dead and he was to blame. Suddenly he felt a pain of remorse and his stomach lurched. He threw himself against the floor and vomited repeatedly into the toilet.
His life had just changed so quickly and there was nothing he could do now. He couldn’t bring Alexis back, she was in his toilet. Benji pulled a bunch of bath towels out of the cupboard closet and rubbed the walls and bathroom floors down.
“Benji” his adopted mother called. His mind raced on what to say as he heard her foot steps getting closer to the bathroom door. “Are you in there?” she asked. He told her yes and she opened the bathroom door. “What did you spill on the carpet?” Benji looked over frantically and saw that the blood had seeped out into the hallway onto his mother’s white carpet.
“I was just trying to clean that up. I was in a hurry to answer the phone and I dropped my glass of red kool-aide. I’m really sorry” Benji lied.
“Oh, I see. don’t worry about it, I got some new carpet cleaner that can get the stain out.” she looked behind him into the bathroom. “Are you sick? Is that vomit?” Benji desperately ran over and threw the seat down and flushed the toilet. “Benji, you’re sweating bullets, what’s wrong?” she asked again.
“Must have eaten something bad at work” Benji said “They passed out these ravioli’s for the workers who forgot their lunches. I was in a hurry this morning with Alexis here” Benji continued to lie.
“Oh, should I make you a Dr.’s appointment?” she asked in a motherly tone.
“No, its probably just an over night stomach bug. I’ll be fine” Benji said.
“Ok. Well I’ll go get that carpet cleaner” she said “And who called?”
“What?” Benji asked.
“You said that you were running to get the phone when you dropped the drink” she said
“Oh yeah. It was aunt Jane. She wanted to know when my birthday was.” Benji said and he wiped the sweat rolling off of his fore head with the sleeve of his shirt.
“Oh, ok. Well let me get that carpet cleaner for you” she said and went out to the kitchen. Benji slowly and cautiously walked over to the toilet and lifted the lid. There in the bowl, was one of Alexis’s blue eyeballs. Benji gasped and slammed the lid down and flushed it again. This had become a living hell.
“Here you are, dear” his mother said and she handed him the bottle of Mr. Clean. Benji took it and walked over to the carpet stain.
“Just use a wet washcloth and scrub at it with the carpet cleaner.” she said.
“Ok” Benji said and he gently poured some of the white powdery stuff on the stain. Then he used one of the wet towels and scrubbed the stain.
When you could no longer see the red mess, Benji threw all of the towels in the dirty laundry hamper and went into his room.
The burden of what he had committed carried on his shoulders for what seemed like an eternity in those few short hours in his room.
“Benji, Alexis’s parents just called. She never came home, have you seen her?” his adopted mother asked, outside his bedroom door.
“No, I haven’t seen her since I left for work this morning. Maybe she went to Ethan’s house” Benji said. Ethan was his old best friends name, before he had fucked his girlfriend on Benji’s bed. As Benji thought more about it, he got even more pissed off and the remorse slowly disappeared.
“Ok. I’ll tell her parents to check there.” his mother said and he heard her foot steps leave the bedroom door. Benji sat up in his bed and started to think up a plan on how to get his revenge on Ethan and pin the murder on him. He shouldn’t have got rid of the body, Benji bet with himself that Alexis had Ethan’s seamen was in Alexis, she was allergic to latex, so she was on birth control. Alexis and Benji had never used condoms when they had intercourse.
“Benji, the phone is for you” his mother said from outside of his bedroom door.
“Ok” Benji said and stood up. He opened the phone and she handed him the phone. “Hello?” he asked into the phone.
“Benji. I’m really sorry about what happened. Alexis’s parents just called here, they cant find her” Ethan said.
“Yea, they called here too. Are you still mad at me Benji?”
“Yea I’m still mad at you. You fucked my girlfriend, and now no one knows where she’s at. Maybe she killed herself. That would have been her best choice. I think personally.”
“Don’t say that. You know that you loved her and now you act like you don’t care at all.”
“Maybe I don’t care anymore. Maybe it was her fault that she fucked up. Actually it was her fault.”
“That’s really cold man.”
“I don’t feel like talking to you anymore. Goodbye.” Benji hung up the phone. Ethan thought that it was rude of Benji to just hang up on him. Ethan understood why Benji was mad at him though. Ethan would be mad too if Benji had done that too him.
Benji was still really pissed off at Ethan for everything that he did. Benji thought that maybe he could pin Alexis’s murder on him. He would just tell the police everything that he did to Alexis and blame it on Ethan. Benji thought this through. He figured out that it wouldn’t work and that he would end up in jail. Benji figured that he would crack under all of the pressure. He would be the one to stand up in court and tell everyone that he was the one that did killed Alexis and ate her then puked it back up in the toilet and flushed the body down into the sewers. He decided not to go to the police. He knew that the police were investigating Alexis’s disappearance. Benji was afraid that if the police started asking him questions that he would just spill everything to them. About how Alexis cheated on him and how it was with his best friend and how he killed her then ate her body and puked it all back up and flushed it down the toilet. After a while the police told Alexis’s parents that they couldn’t recover the body and they didn’t know where to start looking. Alexis’s parents told the police the last place they knew where she was, was at her boyfriends house. (Which was Benji’s house.)
The police asked Benji if he had heard from Alexis in the last couple of weeks. Benji told them no, that he hadn’t heard from her since he went to work the morning before she disappeared. The police checked out his story and it checked out.
Benji was lad that the police stopped questioning him about Alexis’s disappearance. The police started to question Ethan. Ethan told the police that he hadn’t seen Alexis for a couple of days.
After the police questioned Ethan, Benji decided to get his revenge on Ethan for sleeping with Alexis. Benji wanted to kill Ethan but with the police still looking out for who ever killed Alexis he didn’t want to risk anything.
Benji started thinking about what his parents looked like and what Ethan looked like. For some odd reason they looked the same. Benji didn’t know why he thought of this all of a sudden, Benji thought that it was weird.
While Benji was thinking about this his mother wanted to talk to him about something. While she waited for Benji to come downstairs, she knew that she should have told Benji about the child they gave up for adoption a long time a go. Benji finally walked downstairs and asked his mom what was up. She told him everything about the child that she had given up for adoption. She told him that the child they had given up was Ethan. Benji didn’t know what to think of this. He had all of these plans to kill Ethan and now his mom told him that he had a brother and that it was his best friend, that slept with his girlfriend. Benji was pissed that his parents had told him that. He didn’t know what to do now. He wanted to kill Ethan but it was his brother and now his parents knew that it was his brother all along, Benji didn’t want to kill him now.
A couple of months later everyone figured that Alexis was dead so they stopped looking for her. Benji was off the hook. He still remembered that Ethan was his brother. He wanted to kill him off so bad but couldn’t because it was his parents child. Benji was still really pissed. He went and told his parents about what Ethan had done. His parents weren’t too happy about it. They didn’t think that he would have grown up to be like that but they were wrong. Benji didn’t know what his parents thought about it. He knew that they were pissed but that was it. He wanted to know what they thought. Maybe they didn’t know what to think except for the fact that their son they had together and gave up for adoption turned out to be one of the kids that no one could trust.
Random Thoughts 38
Hey! As most of you know, I was addicted to Guitar Hero. It was awsome. It still is awsome but I don't really play anymore. The other day I got into a huge fight with some one really close to me. It sucked. I didn't really talk to them for the rest of the day. Only because I knew that if I talked to them I would have just made the situation worse. I really didn't want to fight with anyone. Then I came to realize something. I really want my dads attention and I can't ever get it. I'm not blaming anyone but him. My mom told me last night that my dad has been breaking my heart since I was nine. I don't know if thats true or not. I don't really remember my childhood. It's the one thing that I don't want to remember. Everytime I think about it I just remember all of the bad things that have happened. Not really a good thing, I think. I don't know. There were some good things that happened in my past but it was mostly bad. I don't think that anyone tries to remember their past if it wasn't good. But thats just what I think. If you have any comments or anything for me just leave them. I should be posting more of my story here soon. I'm almost finshed with part of it. Leave me one.
~hearts~ me
~hearts~ me
Monday, February 4, 2008
Random Thoughts 37
Hey! Everyone will never guess what my new obession is... it's GUITAR HERO! like seriously. I beat it on easy last night at like 3:00 this morning. So not I'm going to be working on beating it through medium. I know I said in my last blog that I didn't understand why people played guitar hero but now I understand. It's addictive. Like I didn't want to stop playing. I still don't want to stop playing but I did. I have a pounding headache. I'll probably play it more later. I can't believe that I got addicted to Guitar hero. Now I know I don't have a life. LOL.
~hearts~ me
~hearts~ me
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