Hey! As most of you know, I was addicted to Guitar Hero. It was awsome. It still is awsome but I don't really play anymore. The other day I got into a huge fight with some one really close to me. It sucked. I didn't really talk to them for the rest of the day. Only because I knew that if I talked to them I would have just made the situation worse. I really didn't want to fight with anyone. Then I came to realize something. I really want my dads attention and I can't ever get it. I'm not blaming anyone but him. My mom told me last night that my dad has been breaking my heart since I was nine. I don't know if thats true or not. I don't really remember my childhood. It's the one thing that I don't want to remember. Everytime I think about it I just remember all of the bad things that have happened. Not really a good thing, I think. I don't know. There were some good things that happened in my past but it was mostly bad. I don't think that anyone tries to remember their past if it wasn't good. But thats just what I think. If you have any comments or anything for me just leave them. I should be posting more of my story here soon. I'm almost finshed with part of it. Leave me one.
~hearts~ me
Friday, February 8, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
Random Thoughts 37
Hey! Everyone will never guess what my new obession is... it's GUITAR HERO! like seriously. I beat it on easy last night at like 3:00 this morning. So not I'm going to be working on beating it through medium. I know I said in my last blog that I didn't understand why people played guitar hero but now I understand. It's addictive. Like I didn't want to stop playing. I still don't want to stop playing but I did. I have a pounding headache. I'll probably play it more later. I can't believe that I got addicted to Guitar hero. Now I know I don't have a life. LOL.
~hearts~ me
~hearts~ me
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Random Thoughts 36
Hey! I'm working on a part 3 of my story. When I finish it I'll post it on here. I'm looking forward to finshing this story up. I don't know when it will be finsished, but probably soon. Maybe not though.
I don't understand how people can play guitar hero. Like seriously. It makes your fingers hurt and everything. I thought that staring at a computer screen is bad but playing guitar hero is even worse. My fingers are killing me. Anyways... Can't wait until I finish my story. I'll post it as soon as it's done.
~hearts~ me
I don't understand how people can play guitar hero. Like seriously. It makes your fingers hurt and everything. I thought that staring at a computer screen is bad but playing guitar hero is even worse. My fingers are killing me. Anyways... Can't wait until I finish my story. I'll post it as soon as it's done.
~hearts~ me
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Random Thoughts 35
Hey! I went to North Carolina this past weekend. I had a blast down there. Even though it was really cold. While I was in North Carolina I still called my mom everyday. Acctually to think about it I called a lot of people while I was there. It was fun while I was down there. It was cold but it was still fun. I got to go shopping. I mean I missed everyone at home. I won't lie about that. It was nice to get away for a weekend though. I don't know what I'm going to do when I acctually move. I know that I'm going to bawl. I think that everyone is, well maybe not everyone. Anyways... I wrote more for my story. I'm working on a part 2 now. I'll post it on here. I hope that everyone likes it. Let me know what you think about it. I could really usse the imput on it.
Part 2
A month later it started again, but it was with different people at different times. Finally Jenny figured out that she needed to go to a councilor. She had told her councilor everything. The next time Jenny went to her appointment, her councilor had called the police and told them everything that Jenny had told her. The police took Jenny in. They arrested her for first degree murder.
While she was in jail Jenny had come to realize that she didn’t know what she was doing with her life. She didn’t realize that she had let her anger get the best of her. Jenny figured out that she needed to quit killing people. She needed to find something to do with her life and learn to let go of all the emotions she held inside of her.
Then she realized that she had killed the one person that meant a lot to her. She had killed the one person that she wanted to marry. She didn’t realize what she was doing until it was too late. The police had been looking for her for months. Finally they caught up to her. Jenny found out that she was pregnant. She didn’t know whose child it was until she started thinking about it. It was Benji’s child. She had went and told the judge that she was pregnant and didn’t know what to do about it. The judge had told her that she would not be allowed to have her baby while she was in jail. She had to give it up for adoption. The baby had gone to a really well raised family. The baby was never going to know his birth mother because no one was going to tell him about her. But he was named after his father. The new family had named him Benji Jr.
As time went on and Benji Jr. got older he asked his parents why they named him Benji and they didn’t want to tell him the truth. They told him that it was the name that he had come with. They didn’t know why his name was Benji. By the time Benji was sixteen, he wanted to know the truth. His adopted family had told him that his mothers name was Jenny and his fathers name was Benji and where his mother and father grew up. They didn’t tell Benji that his father was murdered by his mother. Just that his mother went to jail because of something that she had done.
He wondered why he was always dreaming about killing people. He always wanted to just go out and kill all of the people that were mean to him. The same night that his adopted family told him where his mother grew up at, he ran away from home. He wanted to see where his mother grew up. So he took his car and went to the town that she lived in. Benji drove the four hundred miles to get to that town. He had heard the story about where she was living. So he went directly to that spot. He figured that no one would even notice that he was gone.
The next morning when his adopted parents went to go get him up for school they realized that Benji was nowhere to be found. They called the police and had them search for him. They started thinking about what they had told him and they didn’t think that he would go all the way out there to see where his mother grew up at. They finally figured out an hour after looking where he had gone. They didn’t think that he would have gone all the way there to see that place. They knew the truth about that place. They didn’t tell Benji because they didn’t want him to freak out and go on a killing spree like his mother.
As Benji was driving he thought to himself maybe I should stay there because it’s almost three o’clock in the morning and it was a long drive and he didn’t want to have to make the same trip in a couple of hours apart with no sleep and that he deserved to know where his mother had grew up at.
Benji had stayed the night at the house. He didn’t think that anything bad would happen. He had drove the four hundred miles to get there he figured that he could stay there for a couple of hours and get some sleep then make the trip back before his parents even knew that he was gone.
Benji walked in and walked around for a while and found a bed and laid down and fell a sleep. Then the next thing he knew he was getting attacked by his parents. He didn’t even have time to explain to them why he had done what he did, but he figured that he was old enough to drive so he should be old enough to know more about his mother. His parents had grounded him anyways. He wasn’t allowed to do anything.
He hadn’t read anything about her. He just knew where she grew up because that was all his parents had wanted to tell him about her. So he figured that he would just check out what they said about his mother at school. He couldn’t wait to get to school. He didn’t know what he was looking for. He knew that she had gone to jail. So he had checked all of the local papers. He knew that her name was Jenny. He had found an article about her. As he read more of it, some things started to become clearer to him. About the dreams he had been having, his mood swings. The way that he wanted to kill people all the time. He didn’t think that it was a bad thing. He thought that everyone had had those kinds of thoughts. As he read more of the article he discovered that not everyone had those kinds of thoughts. He realized that it ran in the family. It was a character trait. Benji didn’t think that it was a good thing that he had gotten that character trait. He wondered what character trait he had gotten from his father. He always felt like he had to be a bad ass. He wondered if that was the trait that he got from his father. Then he discovered that both of his birth parents were dead. He decided that he needed to find out more about his birth father.
As Benji was deciding that he should find out more about his birth father, the bell rang for school to be over. So Benji headed home. He already new that he was grounded but he wasn’t sure of what was going to happen next.
After Benji got home his parents wanted to talk to him. Benji was just like “great what did I do now?” As he walked into the kitchen he was afraid of what he had done. After he got into the kitchen someone was sitting at the table with his parents. He didn’t know what to think. His parents told him to sit down and they would explain everything. So Benji sat down. Benji wasn’t sure of what was happening. As he sat there he waited for his parents to tell him what was going on.
His parents told him that because of the little stunt that he had pulled he had to go to counseling. Benji didn’t know why his parents were making him go to counseling. He sat there waiting for an explanation for a couple of minutes. Then he asked why his parents wanted him to go to counseling. They told him because they want him to go. So he agreed to go.
Benji was at his first appointment and didn’t understand why he was there. Then he got called into the councilor’s room and the councilor told Benji why he was there. They told him that his parents wanted to make sure that he wasn’t crazy. They were afraid that he was going to turn out to be like his birth mother. Benji played dumb and asked the councilor what they ment. The councilor didn’t know how to answer that. They decided to call Benji’s parents. Benji’s parents came in and told Benji the whole truth about his birth mother. After they were done explaining the truth to him, Benji had told them that he had been doing research on his mother anyways. He wanted to know what she was like and if he could figure out some things about his life.
Benji had pulled away from his parents and basically quit talking to them after a while. Benji’s parents had told him that he was adopted at the age of thirteen. After that he quit talking to them. They had basic conversation. They talked about the weather, the day they had (which wasn’t much), and how good supper was that night.
His parents tried to figure out what he ment by that. They didn’t think that he was just like his birth mother. That was the one thing they were afraid of. Finally they figured out that they needed to talk to their son about what had been going on. They needed to figure out why he wanted to know so much about his birth mother, Jenny.
After they got home Benji was sitting at the kitchen table. Benji’s parents asked him why he had walked out of the meeting they were having. He told them that he needed to think about everything. His parents understood that. They knew that telling him would have been a mistake. They didn’t think that he would have done everything that he did. Benji explained to them what he had been doing in school. Then his parents understood. They told him that he should have told them sooner about what he was doing. Benji told them about the dreams that he was having. He also told them that he was afraid of what they would say if he told them that. They told him that it was okay and that they would try to work through everything. Benji make a pack with his parents: Never to keep anything from his parents again.
~hearts~ me
Part 2
A month later it started again, but it was with different people at different times. Finally Jenny figured out that she needed to go to a councilor. She had told her councilor everything. The next time Jenny went to her appointment, her councilor had called the police and told them everything that Jenny had told her. The police took Jenny in. They arrested her for first degree murder.
While she was in jail Jenny had come to realize that she didn’t know what she was doing with her life. She didn’t realize that she had let her anger get the best of her. Jenny figured out that she needed to quit killing people. She needed to find something to do with her life and learn to let go of all the emotions she held inside of her.
Then she realized that she had killed the one person that meant a lot to her. She had killed the one person that she wanted to marry. She didn’t realize what she was doing until it was too late. The police had been looking for her for months. Finally they caught up to her. Jenny found out that she was pregnant. She didn’t know whose child it was until she started thinking about it. It was Benji’s child. She had went and told the judge that she was pregnant and didn’t know what to do about it. The judge had told her that she would not be allowed to have her baby while she was in jail. She had to give it up for adoption. The baby had gone to a really well raised family. The baby was never going to know his birth mother because no one was going to tell him about her. But he was named after his father. The new family had named him Benji Jr.
As time went on and Benji Jr. got older he asked his parents why they named him Benji and they didn’t want to tell him the truth. They told him that it was the name that he had come with. They didn’t know why his name was Benji. By the time Benji was sixteen, he wanted to know the truth. His adopted family had told him that his mothers name was Jenny and his fathers name was Benji and where his mother and father grew up. They didn’t tell Benji that his father was murdered by his mother. Just that his mother went to jail because of something that she had done.
He wondered why he was always dreaming about killing people. He always wanted to just go out and kill all of the people that were mean to him. The same night that his adopted family told him where his mother grew up at, he ran away from home. He wanted to see where his mother grew up. So he took his car and went to the town that she lived in. Benji drove the four hundred miles to get to that town. He had heard the story about where she was living. So he went directly to that spot. He figured that no one would even notice that he was gone.
The next morning when his adopted parents went to go get him up for school they realized that Benji was nowhere to be found. They called the police and had them search for him. They started thinking about what they had told him and they didn’t think that he would go all the way out there to see where his mother grew up at. They finally figured out an hour after looking where he had gone. They didn’t think that he would have gone all the way there to see that place. They knew the truth about that place. They didn’t tell Benji because they didn’t want him to freak out and go on a killing spree like his mother.
As Benji was driving he thought to himself maybe I should stay there because it’s almost three o’clock in the morning and it was a long drive and he didn’t want to have to make the same trip in a couple of hours apart with no sleep and that he deserved to know where his mother had grew up at.
Benji had stayed the night at the house. He didn’t think that anything bad would happen. He had drove the four hundred miles to get there he figured that he could stay there for a couple of hours and get some sleep then make the trip back before his parents even knew that he was gone.
Benji walked in and walked around for a while and found a bed and laid down and fell a sleep. Then the next thing he knew he was getting attacked by his parents. He didn’t even have time to explain to them why he had done what he did, but he figured that he was old enough to drive so he should be old enough to know more about his mother. His parents had grounded him anyways. He wasn’t allowed to do anything.
He hadn’t read anything about her. He just knew where she grew up because that was all his parents had wanted to tell him about her. So he figured that he would just check out what they said about his mother at school. He couldn’t wait to get to school. He didn’t know what he was looking for. He knew that she had gone to jail. So he had checked all of the local papers. He knew that her name was Jenny. He had found an article about her. As he read more of it, some things started to become clearer to him. About the dreams he had been having, his mood swings. The way that he wanted to kill people all the time. He didn’t think that it was a bad thing. He thought that everyone had had those kinds of thoughts. As he read more of the article he discovered that not everyone had those kinds of thoughts. He realized that it ran in the family. It was a character trait. Benji didn’t think that it was a good thing that he had gotten that character trait. He wondered what character trait he had gotten from his father. He always felt like he had to be a bad ass. He wondered if that was the trait that he got from his father. Then he discovered that both of his birth parents were dead. He decided that he needed to find out more about his birth father.
As Benji was deciding that he should find out more about his birth father, the bell rang for school to be over. So Benji headed home. He already new that he was grounded but he wasn’t sure of what was going to happen next.
After Benji got home his parents wanted to talk to him. Benji was just like “great what did I do now?” As he walked into the kitchen he was afraid of what he had done. After he got into the kitchen someone was sitting at the table with his parents. He didn’t know what to think. His parents told him to sit down and they would explain everything. So Benji sat down. Benji wasn’t sure of what was happening. As he sat there he waited for his parents to tell him what was going on.
His parents told him that because of the little stunt that he had pulled he had to go to counseling. Benji didn’t know why his parents were making him go to counseling. He sat there waiting for an explanation for a couple of minutes. Then he asked why his parents wanted him to go to counseling. They told him because they want him to go. So he agreed to go.
Benji was at his first appointment and didn’t understand why he was there. Then he got called into the councilor’s room and the councilor told Benji why he was there. They told him that his parents wanted to make sure that he wasn’t crazy. They were afraid that he was going to turn out to be like his birth mother. Benji played dumb and asked the councilor what they ment. The councilor didn’t know how to answer that. They decided to call Benji’s parents. Benji’s parents came in and told Benji the whole truth about his birth mother. After they were done explaining the truth to him, Benji had told them that he had been doing research on his mother anyways. He wanted to know what she was like and if he could figure out some things about his life.
Benji had pulled away from his parents and basically quit talking to them after a while. Benji’s parents had told him that he was adopted at the age of thirteen. After that he quit talking to them. They had basic conversation. They talked about the weather, the day they had (which wasn’t much), and how good supper was that night.
His parents tried to figure out what he ment by that. They didn’t think that he was just like his birth mother. That was the one thing they were afraid of. Finally they figured out that they needed to talk to their son about what had been going on. They needed to figure out why he wanted to know so much about his birth mother, Jenny.
After they got home Benji was sitting at the kitchen table. Benji’s parents asked him why he had walked out of the meeting they were having. He told them that he needed to think about everything. His parents understood that. They knew that telling him would have been a mistake. They didn’t think that he would have done everything that he did. Benji explained to them what he had been doing in school. Then his parents understood. They told him that he should have told them sooner about what he was doing. Benji told them about the dreams that he was having. He also told them that he was afraid of what they would say if he told them that. They told him that it was okay and that they would try to work through everything. Benji make a pack with his parents: Never to keep anything from his parents again.
~hearts~ me
Monday, January 14, 2008
Random Thoughts 34
Hey! I still can't believe that I'm leaving on friday. This is getting harder and harder as I think about it more. I don't know what to think anymore. I know that I'm scared. I never thought that this day would come. I knew that it was going to but I didn't think that it would have come so soon. I'm excited to leave but I've depended on my mom for a lot of things and now I know that she's not going to be right by my side. I guess that everyone has to go though this in thier life. I just didn't think that it would be now for me. I figured that I was going to go to college, live at home for a while then move out. It didn't turn out that way though. Oh well. I'll keep in touch with everyone. As soon as I know the address to my appartment or whatever I'll let everyone know.
~hearts~ me
~hearts~ me
Random Thoughts 33
Hey! I'm leaving on friday. I can't believe that I'm leaving on friday. I didn't think that this time would ever come. I hate this town with a passion. It's not that I don't love my family or whatever but I hate this town. There are too many memories here that I just don't want anymore. I mean, maybe if I leave this place I will finally be able to get my head on straight. And figure out what I really want in life. Anyways... I know that some of my friends said that they were going to read my story but I don't think that it's going to happen. So thanks for that. I understand if your busy all the time, I mean your not a super person and can't do everything to please everyone. I know what thats like. I tried to be like that once, it jsut blew up in my face. Anyways... I have to go look for something because someone hasn't done it yet. :D
~hearts~ me
~hearts~ me
Friday, January 11, 2008
Random Thoughts 32
Hey! someone left a comment on my blog and I don't know who it is. So if anyone out there knows who it is please tell me. I hate being in the dark about it. Like I tried to click on their name and I couldn't. I tried like 7 times. But anyways... I hope that I can figure it out soon. Anyways... It's like 3:16 in the morning. I think that I'm gunna get off of here. I'll post more later.
~hearts~ me
~hearts~ me
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
